Archive for the ‘Sadomasochism’ Category

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What Parts of BDSM Interest You? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self.

In the simplest of ways to label me, I’m a switch.  But, as with any label that comes with MANY nuances. It’s for this reason that I generally dislike the use of labels.

In my primary relationship, I identify as a slave.  We have been in an M/s relationship since August of 2009, however we’ve been married since October 2000.
If I was to say I’m a “no limit” slave as most would expect me to say, that would be wrong.  I have never been expected to give over all of my decision-making, to have no limits, etc.  However, I do believe if my Master expected that of me (which he does not) that I would be willing and able to do so.

Outside of my primary relationship is where the “switchiness” comes into play.  I’m VERY much a masochist and enjoy being on the receiving end of pain.  My masochism is something that doesn’t play a huge role in my M/s relationship so I primarily fulfill that need through other play partners. I can also identify as a bottom or even submissive, dependent on play style and partner. On the flip side of the coin I can also identify as sadist, Top or Dominant. I have a growing fondness of sissy boys and CBT.  I do play with women too – and that style of play can range from sensual to sadistic.

On a side note: I also identify as bisexual.  In my eyes, bisexual means I am capable of having relationships with either a man or a woman.  For me, this label is more than just sexual preference.  While my primary relationship is heterosexual, I believe I am fully capable of having a relationship with a women – and would love to find a woman who I find compatible to explore that with.

Other labels I use to describe myself include swinger and polyamourous.  And no, I don’t use these terms interchangeably like some tend to do.  Although, a recently coined term I find most suitable would be polyfuckery… I like it! Define it however you choose!


Got your attention? Good!

So, here’s the quick and dirty background important to this post:

  • Approximately 14 months ago, an event was held with classes organized by yours truly. One class in particular, taught by Min and Eric was on Fisting and Female Ejaculation (You can see their resources HERE).
  • I discovered approximately a year and a half ago that I’m quite the masochist, at which time I only carried the label of Switch (Top/bottom). I had yet to submit to anyone and I was not my Master’s slave. (We were husband and wife though)
  • Approximately 1 year ago, I became the slave of my Master.
  • Periodically over this period of time, Master and I have tried to play in an S/M nature, but he is no sadist and my mind interprets any act of sadism from him as punishment – we mutually agreed that I needed to fulfill my masochistic tendencies with other play partners.
  • Periodically since the Fisting and Female Ejaculation class, Master has tried to make me squirt – the closest I’ve ever been was in front of a room full of people at our local swingers club, Trapeze.

Fast forward to now…

Just the other day, I mentioned to Master that I would like to attempt S/M play again. My imagination has been in overdrive on all sorts of things and I wanted to explore some of those thoughts.  The caveat to this newest attempt at S/M play was that I wanted to try it during sex.  I feel the most “submissive” and “slave like” when he is using me for his pleasure and I wanted to explore my deepest submissive feelings and intertwine them with S/M.

Enter the AM of Saturday morning.

I remember the question vividly,
Do you want to try, he asked?
Yes Sir, I replied.
I almost wish he hadn’t asked,
but this was crossing a hard limit
so, he reconfirmed my desire.
I was stretched across the bed, on all fours;
ass perched high in the air,
cunt aching to feel him penetrate me.
He left me there,vulnerable.
When he returned, I didn’t dare open my eyes;
I didn’t need to know how he’d strike me,
I just needed to know he was going to.
I made a wish at this moment,
please let this work;
I NEED this to work.
He entered me slowly,
my senses already heightened,
I could nearly feel his heartbeat from deep within me;
the pulse of his raging hard on beating like a drum.
He paused there, savoring the moment,
perhaps even questioning the potential outcome.
He struck me, a familiar sensation;
he continued, his strikes being occasionally met by a thrust of his hips.
I pushed back against him, murmurs and moans escaping my lips,
a smirk crosses my lips when I realize the frequency of his strikes.
I’d broken through the barrier, not a single tear was shed from my eyes;
instead I was blissfully enjoying every second of it.
My back arched to meet the strike of his quirt, my hips rocked to meet his thrust,
even the strike of his bare hand was sending shock waves through me.
At some point, everything around me faded leaving only Master and myself;
and a puddle on the sheets.

That puddle on the sheets means more than anyone could ever possibly imagine!
Thank you, Sir!

(This picture is *NOT* me – I wish my puddle had been that big, but I’m happy with the results regardless!)


Posted: July 16, 2010 in Poems and Lyrics, Sadomasochism

You’re sick of feeling numb
You’re not the only one
I’ll take you by the hand
And I’ll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn’t work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Excerpts of lyrics from “Pain” by Three Days Grace