Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

I’m writing today on behalf of sexual freedom, on “How is sexual freedom important to the work you do as an advocate?” as an entry to the blog carnival on VenusPlusX.

First, let me just begin by saying, I had to do some serious soul-searching to even begin to identify myself as an advocate.  To me, a sexual freedom advocate looks a lot like Kendra Holliday (The Beautiful Kind).  So, before I could even begin to write about sexual freedom, I had to wrap my thoughts around advocacy.  It’s a bit disheartening to me that I’d even feel the need to Google the definition of advocacy, but I’m glad I did…  partly, because maybe; just maybe – I AM an advocate for sexual freedom.

My advocacy comes primarily in the way of anonymous contributions. My alias is where you will find blog posts, tumblr pictures, and formspring questions talking about any and all types of topics – nothing is taboo in the world of Cadence Rayne.  Sure, there are people in real life that know who is behind the online identify of Cadence Rayne, but those are people who I trust to understand why I choose to maintain that alias.  So, from behind the keyboard, I spread my thoughts and ideas about sexuality and do so as if there will be no ramifications.  But, who am I kidding?

If you stripped away my alias, you’d find nothing more than a petrified young lady, dying to have a voice! Silence is not golden! To put it simply, when the Human Rights Campaign was auto posting status updates on FaceBook about LGBT and the anti-bullying campaign, I chose to post then with no “association.”  I felt like I was being honest when I did that, because to claim my association as a “straight supporter” would have been a lie – but I wasn’t entirely honest either.  Why did I feel the need to mute myself from declaring my bisexuality?  I could name so many different reasons why I wasn’t honest – but what it boils down to is that sexual rights have a long way to go before they truly protect someone.  Hell, it took until 2010 for the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  I would give anything to be able to declare my bisexuality, the fact that I live in a 24/7 D/s relationship, the fact that we are swingers and the fact that we are working our way into polyamory – but, let’s get real – the average person, especially in my part of the country (the good ‘ol Bible belt of the South East) would see those statements as unethical and morally wrong.  So, I remain silent.  I’m not ready to risk everything I have to declare everything I am to everyone.

So, I continue to fight for sexual freedom – from the comfort of my alias.  I hope you won’t hold it against me!


1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It’s Cool Whip time!

4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!

5. That’s one terrific spread!

6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!

10. Don’t play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.

I have no idea what to list as the source on this… but I liked it and wanted to share it!

Seduce Me

Posted: November 11, 2010 in Bisexual, Emotions, Non-monogamy, Random, Role Play, Swinging

My sex drive can be something like a roller coaster, lots of highs and lows and nothing substantial in between.

The only thing I’ve discovered is that there is an inverse relationship between my sex drive and stress.  High stress levels equates to little or no sex drive.

Well, the last couple of weeks have been nothing but high stress.  Work demands have been chaotic and unpredictable.  Personally, I’m in the sprint to finish 3 exams in the next 3 months with the nearest one being in 9 days.   Master and I have been less than loving with one another. My body is fighting against me – everything hurts.  Blah, blah and blah…

Anyway, I’ve said all this to say – I want NEED to be seduced.  I want to be able to forget about mundane life for an evening. To go out, have dinner and/or drinks, and be seduced in such a way that I feel sexy and desired – something like that sure would go a long way in getting my sex drive back on track.

That is all… k, thanks!



Stepping Back

Posted: October 26, 2010 in Random

It’s time…  time to step back from writing, chatting and otherwise spending too much time online.

It doesn’t mean I won’t be lurking around or occasionally write a post, or reblog a picture – just means it won’t be with the regularity as it has in the past.

No one has caused this to happen, but more a matter of circumstances.  I have 3 exams scheduled over the course of the next 4 months.
So, any extra time I have will be spent preparing for those.  My future depends on it to be perfectly honest.  I don’t want to start back at square one which means I have to pass these 3 sections before the end of May.  I’ve scheduled my exams through February and March isn’t a testing month. So, if I have to re-take ANY of them I have April and May.

I’m hoping to occasionally get out and about but the fact of the matter is I just can’t sacrifice too much time – I’ll have time later for socializing.

National Sexual Freedom Day

Posted: September 23, 2010 in Bisexual, Random

I suppose to be able to talk about sexual freedom one might need to have an understanding of exactly what that means. Unfortunately, I don’t believe that any one person will ever define it the same as another.  We all add our own twists, caveats per se, that make it seem like it suits the purpose we might be using the word for.  In some cases, I believe one might put a negative spin on it – in their mind believing that sexual freedom is essentially promiscuity or sexual deviancy that is to be frowned upon.  In fact, this would be how I feel the majority of my georgraphic area probably feels about “sexual freedom.” I do live in the bible belt after all!

I prefer to define sexual freedom as an extension of freedom of expression.  If I so choose to express my interest in both men and women – so be it.  However, on a deeper level I’d like to believe that sexual freedom would also work as a shield for those that choose to be sexually free against those that are bound by their own inherent beliefs, religious philosophy and the like.

I also believe that this extends into the political realm as well.  Why can’t our nation operate in a more secular fashion – leaving the “judgement” to whatever deity they choose to believe in.  In the mean time, we are all humans – let us love who we choose to love, marry who we want to marry, be who we want to be.

Regardless of your perspective, I think National Sexual Freedom Day represents tolerance.  If we can at least learn to tolerate one another, regardless of how we identify – we can move closer to being sexually free.  Without tolerance, we will continue to fight for our sexual freedom.

30 Days of Truth

Posted: September 17, 2010 in Random

I’m going to only post one entry, so you will have to come back and check this post every few days to see what I have added… should be interesting.  I found this at Only the Curious through a friend, Everything’s Eventual.  Hope my readers don’t mind…

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

  • I hate that I inflict self-harm on my body.  I suffer from dermatillomania. I consider myself fortunate, because as an adult I find that it is not something I do to handle stress, work through emotions, etc.  However, it is a habit that I continually attempt to break.  I would have to believe that when it began (very early in my childhood) that it was as a result of some psychological stimulus, but that is not the case as an adult.  I’m very aware of it, as is my Master – who works with me consistently to try to break the habit.  I’m also fortunate to not exhibit significant scarring either…thankfully!  I have been considering hypnosis to try to assist in my breaking the habit. 9/17/2010

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

  • I love that I am slowly coming into my own – learning more about who I am and embracing it.  That comes in many forms in terms of religion, politics, sexuality and so much more.  Exploring what makes me feel comfortable and happy for me, not because it was how I was raised or how the majority of the world expects you to believe.  Unfortunately, this has not come without sacrifice. 9/18/2010

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

  • Wow!  Forgive myself? This I find to be a tough one.  I need to forgive myself for standing up for myself and what I believe in.  It is very hard for me to look at my family, most of whom I am estranged from and believe that my decision to remove them from my life was the best choice or that my actions that caused them to remove themselves from me were justified.  I’ve made reference to what caused me to cease communication with my mother in this blog post.  9/19/2010

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

  • Wow, another tough one… although, I suppose anything related to forgiveness isn’t easy.  I need to forgive my parents for their divorce.  I have long thought that my life (and their own) would look very different had they worked things out.  I don’t think they even made a proper attempt at it – actually, I KNOW they didn’t even make an attempt.  Now I watch as they struggle separately and wonder if they ever think about how easy they’d have it now if they had just tried. 9/20/2010

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

  • Oh, I have so many things I hope to do in this lifetime.  This might sound like a bit of a cop out answer, but I hope to do everything I think I might want to do.  I don’t want to be held back by anything, be it my own fear or self imposed limitations or anything else for that matter.  I want to know when its my time to leave that I have done everything I could have possibly wanted to do.  Live for today –  you don’t know what tomorrow might bring.  (Top on my list right now – sky diving!) 9/21/2010

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

  • I hope I never have to make the conscious decision to put one of my four legged fur-babies to sleep. I’d rather they just be taken in their own time.  I’ve been faced with the thought of losing a pet a lot lately, as one of them has begun suffering from inter-vertebral disc disease and the thought of making that decision makes me sick.  My fur-babies are my children, and no parent wants to ever have to make that type of decision. 9/22/2010

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

  • My Master and husband.  Without his unconditional love I’m not sure where I might be now.  He makes me want to be a better person and even when the rest of my world comes crashing down around me, I know that he’s with me – my rock, my protector.  I’ve had lots of physical and emotional ups and down in the many years we’ve been together and I don’t think he looks at me as any less of a person that the day we met. He is my heart, and my soul, and he alone has made life worth living. 9/23/2010

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

  • As much as I hate to admit it, my father made my life hell when he and my mother were going through their divorce.  He became very depressed and suicidal.  I heard on more than one occasion that a bridge on his way to work has his name on it.  He said these things to me regularly until he met my now step mother.  When the two of them were first dating, I remember getting called at all hours of the night (I’m a freshman in high school at this point) and was made to play mediator between the two of them when they would argue while they were out and part ways.  It was a horrible time and it made my transition into high school that much more difficult.  9/24/2010

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

  • I’ve lost a few friends simply because our lives went in different directions. Both were friends from school, both drifted primarily because of distance and being at different places in our lives.  We still talk, but both of those friendships are nothing like their former versions.  9/25/2010

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

  • This is a tough one, because I think everyone is in your life for a reason.  And, I’m also usually quick to let someone go if they are doing more harm than good in my life.  Someone I wish I didn’t know – wow, that’s pretty rough – but I suppose there are several family members that I feel I would be better off without.  9/26/2010

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

  • I get complimented the most on being “well put together” for lack of a  better way to put it.  I rarely wear jeans (unless Master requires it) and I don’t even own sweatpants that I will leave the house in.  My hair and makeup is always fixed, regardless of the circumstances and I’d describe my everyday attire as business casual – even when I’m not at work.  I wouldn’t call myself a fashionable, but I think I stick to the classics and can put those types of outfits together well.  9/27/2010

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

  • I never get complimented on my eyes.  Not sure what else to add to it except that I have horribly plain hazel eyes. They don’t pierce through you, they don’t tell a story, they are just eyes.  9/28/2010

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

  • First of all – no letter writing for me.  I’m lucky to be keeping up with this daily, much less expect it to be of any significant length. I can’t say that any particular band or artist has gotten me through tough days. I can say that music in general has though.  In high school, if I hadn’t been involved in every band option we had available (marching band, symphonic band, jazz band, pep band, indoor drumline, etc.) then the impact of my parents divorce would have been even greater.  The band room at my high school was like my safe haven, where I had lots of friends, adults to support me and something I was good at to dedicate my time to.  Without it, I’d be in a much different place now. 9/29/2010

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

  • I can’t ever say I’ve had a hero in my life, so I’ve never had one let me down. 9/30/2010

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

  • Music.  It’s nourishment for the soul, especially mine.  It doesn’t matter what genre, tempo, etc… as long as I have music, something inside me feels alive.  I have tried to live without it, although thats always been very short lived.  10/1/2010

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

  • I could live without my profession.  I do it because I’ve spent a lot of time and money to get where I am, but unfortunately my choice in profession has turned my world into a never ending pit of despair because my licensure exams seem to be impossible to put behind me.  If I didn’t think I was getting to be too old to try anything new, I’d probably go into a totally different line of work. 10/2/2010

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

  • Opening Up:Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino – since non-monogamy is still something I’m relatively new to, I always seek out information.  This book is well written with a wealth of information regarding different levels of open relationships.  Its allowed me to change my views on different types of relationships that don’t mirror my own – and in turn, allowed me to open up and be honest with myself about my relationship and the other types of relationships I would consider having.  10/3/2010

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

  • I see absolutely no reason why a homosexual couple should be any different than a heterosexual couple – that includes marriage, adoption, etc.  It hurts my heart to see people I know not be able to enjoy the same luxuries that a heterosexual couple can, simple because of their sexual orientation.  I believe that judgement against one’s sexual orientation comes from spiritual upbringing/influence and should not have any effect on the law that all citizens, regardless of spiritual beliefs, are required to live by.  10/4/2010

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

  • Ick! Do I really have to answer this after the rant I just had on Twitter?  My thoughts on religion – I think everyone needs to get their head out of their own ass and make a decision for themselves about religion/spirituality rather than letting generation after generation of “teachings” be the deciding factor in your beliefs.  I’m not a fan of organized religion, but consider myself to be spiritually in tune.  I was raised a Christian, but question most everything that was taught to me.  I don’t identify as atheist – I believe in a higher power, whatever it might be.  I also don’t identify as agnostic – I can make a commitment to a belief, but I don’t feel educated enough to determine exactly what I believe.  If I had to make a sweeping assumption/generalization I’d identify as Pagan.
  • As far as politics go, as I ranted about yesterday – I’m a social liberal and a fiscal conservative, generally speaking.  My opinions can swing from the far right to the far left depending on the topic at hand.  I don’t like to debate about it, and I don’t care what blemishes are on a candidates record – assuming they learned something from the “blemish.”  I hate that we are in the midst of mid term elections and I hate that I live in a state that is primarily conservative – when are we going to have an independent as governor, or president for that matter?  Blech! Religion and politics – both very quick ways to aggravate me and to make people pass judgement against me… oh well!  Take it or leave it – I am me, nothing more and nothing less. </rant>   10/5/2010

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

  • I don’t use drugs, and never have – not even once.  However, the older I get the more curious I become about certain ones.  Regardless, possession would strip me of my profession without a blink of an eye and so I choose not to do them.  I’m not against legalization of illegal drugs found in nature (i.e. marijuana, shrooms, etc.) – I believe that it could bring new forms of revenue to our government with more controls in place to possibly make it safer and remove some of the black market (it will never all go away).  I also believe legalization could decrease some crimes associated them.
  • I’m not sure what to say about alcohol except that I’m a social drinker and that liquid courage is sometimes a fantastic thing (i.e. my ability to seduce a woman is more likely!).  Although, alcoholism has struck a large number of people in both mine and my Master’s family – and is directly related to my estrangement from my aunt.  I am against drinking and driving, and if your too drunk to drive and in my house – I’m taking your keys.  If you have a problem with that, even after everyone is sober again – that’s your problem. </rant> 10/6/2010

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

  • I find this question on this particular day to be good timing… my best friend is my husband and Master and today, we have been married 10 years.  If we had gotten into a fight an hour before he was in an accident, I think I would feel a huge amount of guilt.  I would use it as a reminder to never leave things unsaid and to tell people you love them, even if your not getting along at that particular moment.  I try to live life this way anyway – but I think that would just make it that much more important in my mind. 10/7/2010

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

  • I try not to have any of these “moments” or “events” because I prefer to see something as a learning experience rather than a mistake.  That having been said, if I had to pick one thing I wish I hadn’t done – it would have been not taking advantage of having been offered a scholarship to attend a private school that “seemed” too far away from my fiancée (Read: high school sweetheart) and/or going into the Air Force. However, that having been said, if I had gone away to school or enlisted in the armed services, I most likely would not have met Master. So, it was one of those – everything happens for a reason type situation and I’m perfectly okay with that.  10/8/2010

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

  • Again, I try not to have regrets and to live each day as if it were my last, but honestly I wish I had pursued medicine as I had originally intended.  Perhaps put someone in my life some 13 years ago that could have helped me put together a plan to be able to put myself through med school.  I still think I might like to be in medicine – even considering going to EMT school, and eventually paramedic school.  I think I’d enjoy the medical aspect as well as the schedule – especially when Master finds full time employment as a fire fighter.  Since most EMT’s/Paramedics in our area work the same shifts as firemen do, we’d potentially have that much more time together outside of work. 10/9/10

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

  • I’m gonna pass on a playlist – I’m a music lover, but horrible with artist names and song titles.  10/10/10

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

  • I’m not a huge risk taker, that’s a good start!  Otherwise, I believe that I make wise choices in how I live my life.  I do have hobbies and activities that have put me at risk, or do put me at risk – but nothing too terribly over the top.  10/11/2010

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

  • I’m sure at some point in my childhood I thought that life should end and that it would just be easier that way, but I also believe it was probably a fleeting thought that didn’t linger around for long.  I’ve struggled with severe mood swings and even slight depression at times, but nothing ever severe enough to waste too much time about ending my life – much less following through with it. 10/12/2010

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

  • I have a lot going for me right now… I have my health, a job, a loving husband, great friends, etc.  What more could you want or need? 10/13/2010

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

  • Well, first of all – I can’t get someone pregnant and if I could then I’d be filthy rich! Otherwise, if I was pregnant we’d have a huge problem on our hands – partially because Master is surgically safe and also because I’ve had a procedure done (endometrial ablasion) that would not allow me to carry a child to term.  It would be a huge catastrophe and emotionally draining.  On this topic though, I will say that I am pro-choice – been there, done that and got the t-shirt.  If you wish to talk to me about that, I will do so privately. If you have a problem with that – move along. 10/14/2010

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

  • My weight has been an issue with me for a very long time – more of a roller coaster up and down, and as a result I have very horrible self image issues.  So, ideally I’d like to take the weight off and perhaps even go through some therapy to work through the negative self image.  These issues can sometimes cause me to be even more introverted than I normally might be – and I’m trying to work through that.  10/15/2010

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Blog Button – Opinions

Posted: September 3, 2010 in Random

Ok, so I am definitely no professional at this whole world of blogs and buttons yet – but I need a blog button so that I can be added to a blog role on Just Kinky (and hopefully other places soon) and I was wondering what you all thought of this one?