Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Family Sucks…

Posted: October 21, 2010 in Emotions, Family

I got a letter from my mom yesterday…

I haven’t quite processed all my emotions about it just yet.  I didn’t respond to her email over a year ago, and now I feel obligated  to speak my peace.  I’m just not sure what I want to say just yet…

It’s funny how time can change things – over  a year ago when I opened her email while I was on vacation (yeah, I know – spare me the lecture of checking email while on vacation!)  The emotions that went raging through me are nearly impossible to describe – but needless to say it impacted me so much that we chose to come home from vacation a day earlier than planned. *sigh*

So, now I read this letter on my way to work on Wednesday morning…  10/20/10.  I’m wearing purple in support of the lives lost to anti LGBT bullying – Spirit Day.  And at that moment, even though I felt all sorts of emotions – I simply didn’t care.  I didn’t care what she said, what excuses she had or anything else.  I just didn’t/don’t care.   Why should I?   I’ve come to terms with the fact that many don’t accept me for who I am, family included.  That’s their problem, not mine.  So, why stress?

Master read the letter last night and he said something that I hadn’t even caught… she talked about how I would become more accepting of people and open to who they are as I got older.  SERIOUSLY? Did she really say that to me? Does she not remember that she was the one giving me the third degree about the lifestyle choices I make?  REALLY? I need to be more accepting – hmmm, funny I don’t think ANYONE that actually knows me would EVER say something even remotely similar to that.  How can someone who raised me to be accepting of others live the opposite of what she taught?

Anyway, I know many of you read my blog for my more erotic posts but since this directly relates to me and my lifestyle choices – I thought it might be okay to rant…  hope you don’t mind.

Hello, fellow kinky folks!

Posted: May 12, 2010 in Family

So, for a brief while, I deleted my blog (and since moved it here to wordpress). I should explain why!

Nearly 9 months ago, I got an email from my mom, while on vacation. A quick summary might sound something like this… I saw your twitter account (and thus googled your alias and found your blog)…great alias…what if someone finds this…is this why you aren’t succeeding in life (finishing my graduate studies and professional exams)… Yeah, that’s the general idea of the email – it made me shut down.

So, my response, while never actually telling her is this… Thanks – my alias suits me great! Those that know some of the biggest influences on my life will know how much my musical background plays into how I “play” in this lifestyle – especially as a bottom! So, thanks for the compliment – I don’t seem to EVER get those from you these days – even though it is a backhanded one!

If someone finds this, I don’t know what will come of it. What I do know is that this is me, I live it and breathe it. If my current employer or future employers find it and punish me for it, I know several things – I’m honest about my life, I don’t impose it on anyone I work with, it doesn’t effect my work, and those that I hold so near and dear to my heart in the local community would step to bat for me, help me network, and the like. If my blog ‘outs’ me – I think I’ll be okay with that. As a matter of fact, someone was recently fired for their blog surrounding their polyamourous lifestyle and she’s getting more press than she knows what to do with. And, maybe that’s not a bad thing! Hell, she’s got job offers from lifestyle friendly employers as a result – sounds like it might not be so bad after all!

And finally, ‘this’ lifestyle has absolutely nothing to do with how I move along your (her) pre-determined time line. ‘This’ lifestyle has everything to do with having an accepting ‘chosen’ family, giving me an outlet for my stress, allowing me to express myself in ways I never thought possible and making me feel more accepted as a person than ever before. The support I feel is incomparable. Some of them know about my professional trials and tribulations and are there to offer more solace and support than I have EVER felt from anyone else – especially you!

So, I’m back…take it or leave it.