Archive for the ‘Bisexual’ Category

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What Parts of BDSM Interest You? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self.

In the simplest of ways to label me, I’m a switch.  But, as with any label that comes with MANY nuances. It’s for this reason that I generally dislike the use of labels.

In my primary relationship, I identify as a slave.  We have been in an M/s relationship since August of 2009, however we’ve been married since October 2000.
If I was to say I’m a “no limit” slave as most would expect me to say, that would be wrong.  I have never been expected to give over all of my decision-making, to have no limits, etc.  However, I do believe if my Master expected that of me (which he does not) that I would be willing and able to do so.

Outside of my primary relationship is where the “switchiness” comes into play.  I’m VERY much a masochist and enjoy being on the receiving end of pain.  My masochism is something that doesn’t play a huge role in my M/s relationship so I primarily fulfill that need through other play partners. I can also identify as a bottom or even submissive, dependent on play style and partner. On the flip side of the coin I can also identify as sadist, Top or Dominant. I have a growing fondness of sissy boys and CBT.  I do play with women too – and that style of play can range from sensual to sadistic.

On a side note: I also identify as bisexual.  In my eyes, bisexual means I am capable of having relationships with either a man or a woman.  For me, this label is more than just sexual preference.  While my primary relationship is heterosexual, I believe I am fully capable of having a relationship with a women – and would love to find a woman who I find compatible to explore that with.

Other labels I use to describe myself include swinger and polyamourous.  And no, I don’t use these terms interchangeably like some tend to do.  Although, a recently coined term I find most suitable would be polyfuckery… I like it! Define it however you choose!


I’m writing today on behalf of sexual freedom, on “How is sexual freedom important to the work you do as an advocate?” as an entry to the blog carnival on VenusPlusX.

First, let me just begin by saying, I had to do some serious soul-searching to even begin to identify myself as an advocate.  To me, a sexual freedom advocate looks a lot like Kendra Holliday (The Beautiful Kind).  So, before I could even begin to write about sexual freedom, I had to wrap my thoughts around advocacy.  It’s a bit disheartening to me that I’d even feel the need to Google the definition of advocacy, but I’m glad I did…  partly, because maybe; just maybe – I AM an advocate for sexual freedom.

My advocacy comes primarily in the way of anonymous contributions. My alias is where you will find blog posts, tumblr pictures, and formspring questions talking about any and all types of topics – nothing is taboo in the world of Cadence Rayne.  Sure, there are people in real life that know who is behind the online identify of Cadence Rayne, but those are people who I trust to understand why I choose to maintain that alias.  So, from behind the keyboard, I spread my thoughts and ideas about sexuality and do so as if there will be no ramifications.  But, who am I kidding?

If you stripped away my alias, you’d find nothing more than a petrified young lady, dying to have a voice! Silence is not golden! To put it simply, when the Human Rights Campaign was auto posting status updates on FaceBook about LGBT and the anti-bullying campaign, I chose to post then with no “association.”  I felt like I was being honest when I did that, because to claim my association as a “straight supporter” would have been a lie – but I wasn’t entirely honest either.  Why did I feel the need to mute myself from declaring my bisexuality?  I could name so many different reasons why I wasn’t honest – but what it boils down to is that sexual rights have a long way to go before they truly protect someone.  Hell, it took until 2010 for the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  I would give anything to be able to declare my bisexuality, the fact that I live in a 24/7 D/s relationship, the fact that we are swingers and the fact that we are working our way into polyamory – but, let’s get real – the average person, especially in my part of the country (the good ‘ol Bible belt of the South East) would see those statements as unethical and morally wrong.  So, I remain silent.  I’m not ready to risk everything I have to declare everything I am to everyone.

So, I continue to fight for sexual freedom – from the comfort of my alias.  I hope you won’t hold it against me!

Seduce Me

Posted: November 11, 2010 in Bisexual, Emotions, Non-monogamy, Random, Role Play, Swinging

My sex drive can be something like a roller coaster, lots of highs and lows and nothing substantial in between.

The only thing I’ve discovered is that there is an inverse relationship between my sex drive and stress.  High stress levels equates to little or no sex drive.

Well, the last couple of weeks have been nothing but high stress.  Work demands have been chaotic and unpredictable.  Personally, I’m in the sprint to finish 3 exams in the next 3 months with the nearest one being in 9 days.   Master and I have been less than loving with one another. My body is fighting against me – everything hurts.  Blah, blah and blah…

Anyway, I’ve said all this to say – I want NEED to be seduced.  I want to be able to forget about mundane life for an evening. To go out, have dinner and/or drinks, and be seduced in such a way that I feel sexy and desired – something like that sure would go a long way in getting my sex drive back on track.

That is all… k, thanks!



(continued from this post)

The boys imaginations were now spiraling out of control,
their excitement now undeniable beneath their pants.
We did our best to help camouflage the evidence,
but our Cheshire smiles did all  but give away our secrets to the guests.
It seemed as though the clock was standing still,
but we were finally left alone.

The feminine energy couldn’t be denied any longer,
and she and I could no longer contain ourselves.
Undressing one another, a single piece at a time, we made our way to the bedroom.
Pausing only long enough to see that our partners were nearby,
our hands exploring every inch of one another.

Our journey ended up under a trail of steaming hot water;
kissing, touching, and exploring one another.
We hadn’t spent much time alone together before now,
and the boys seemed to be content in knowing they’d get their turn.
I couldn’t help but pinch and bite her nipples,
listening to her breathing quicken and body writhe, I knew she was on the brink of orgasm.

Our partners were waiting in the bedroom, and as I pushed her still wet body onto the bed they quickly moved out-of-the-way.
I climbed on top of her and paused – paused to look at this beautiful woman before me and leaned in to meet her lips with mine.
I could sense her holding back, fearful of everything she knows she wants but attempting to bury the feelings.
Regardless of where our relationship might go, we both knew that we needed one another to satiate that feminine desire burning within us…

I’ve decided not to complete this writing, due solely to the fact that I’ve written both of these posts in anticipation of an upcoming evening with two very special people.  Rather than writing fantasy, I’d rather write truth.  I won’t promise to write about the events that happen, but I can promise they will be worthy of being written about.

National Coming Out Day

Posted: October 11, 2010 in Bisexual

I recently decided to jump on the bandwagon on Facebook, and join the Human Rights Campaign for National Coming Out Day.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t bold enough to announce my sexuality to all of Facebook – but simply joining the campaign and posting daily about equal rights was taking a huge step for me.

I’m open about my sexuality to those that I feel it matters.  However, I don’t think that co-workers  need to know that much about me. I work in a conservative field and a conservative company – and while the company has employed openly homosexual individuals before, it was something I just didn’t want to put out there for them to see – I’m perfectly happy with them assuming I’m in a monogamous marriage with a man.  But, deep inside it’s killing me that I can’t announce to anyone and everyone that I’m a non-monogamous bisexual kinky slave.  Who would truly understand what that means besides those I’m not afraid to tell it to?

I’m hoping in the  coming year that I can continue to take strides towards being true to myself.  I’d love to be able to hold the hand of my girlfriend in public (That would be assuming I actually had one!) and even kiss her if I so desired.  I want to be able to embrace and not feel the need to hide a relationship with another woman for fear of who might see or who won’t understand.

I saw that my little sister RSVP’d  to a NOH8 event at her school, here in the great ol’ southern bible belt.  I’m not sure that she’s had any intelligent discussion about the subject from my dad or step mom, but regardless of what kind of information she has I’m glad to see that she is supporting such an event.  As soon as she posted it I also saw several classmates posting hateful things about the event and yet she held strong in her opinion – I made it a point to tell her on the post that I was proud of her for taking a stand.  Who knows what my dad or step mom might have to say about that, but I don’t really care.

A friend of ours has a daughter that lives with her mother in another state.  Her step mom (and my friend) is bisexual and as a couple they are non-monogamous.  Recently, it came out that she (the daughter) was dating another girl.  It immediately became a huge ordeal with her mother telling her she was going to hell among other many hateful and hurtful things.  Fortunately, although they don’t share their life with the teenage daughter, they are supporting her in her decisions.  Her dad mentioned just this past weekend that he told her that she supported her in any decision that she made – whether it just be a phase or a life decision.  I’m so glad she has her dad and step mom to talk to about it. Its situations like these that lead to miserable people because they allow other people to make their decisions for them – and she doesn’t deserve anything less than happiness in a relationship, whether it be with a man or a woman.

Anyway, I hope everyone does something for National Coming Out Day – even if you aren’t coming out, at least support the cause.


This Is Only the Beginning

Posted: September 23, 2010 in Bisexual, Non-monogamy, Swinging

It had been a while since we last spoke,
my fantasies drifting to find the pieces of yourself you’d left behind.
I missed you, I missed talking to you, touching and being touched by you.
We had explored enough of one another that I longed to taste you again,
our exploration always seeming to detour to the masculine energy in the room.

It’s nearly two fort nights before our paths cross again, erotic images spotting my thoughts.
I’m fascinated by your words, the images you share and the vulnerability you’ve revealed in recent days.
As much as I yearn for your friendship, my thoughts remain nefarious.
Knowing our sexual tension will be stifled by mundane visitors,
I can’t help but imagine seducing you in their midst.

We’d arrived later than other guests, nothing less than intentional
as our time together would extend much past those that arrived before us.
We mingle amongst the mundane guests,
the sexual tension built prior to our arrival weighing heavy in the air.

You step away into another room,
your body language making it clear that you want me to join you.
My skin flushes a shade of crimson red,
feeling like everyone in the room recognizes the wanton lust between us.

A quick exchange of silent glances with Master, and with his approval I follow shortly behind you.
I push the door closed, and waste no time backing you against the wall.
Your chin immediately falls to your chest, but only for a moment.
As  your eyes meet mine, my hands begin exploring you.

As my fingertips grazed the tops of your thighs, your dress easily creeps up to your waist.
I see a hint of embarrassment cross your face as my fingertips find your shaven mound.
Pressing myself into, I pull your dress over your head and allow our lips to meet.
Your arms paralyzed above you,
my fingers trace each curve until they meet your sweet honey pot once again.

Allowing a finger to slide between your swollen lips,
your darkest desires being revealed by your now dripping cunt.
As your breathing becomes heavy, I drop to my knees and take you into my mouth,
allowing my tongue to plunge into you, and taste your sweet nectar.

As I stand back up, and push my leg into your sex, I let you taste of yourself.
Your eyes tell me your not ready for this to end, so I whisper in you ear – this is only the beginning.
As  we pull ourselves together to join the guests in the other room, I whisper one last request.
Let’s show the boys what they have to look forward to.

We greet our respective partners with a kiss, your nectar still on our breath and lips.
And we both whisper, this is only the beginning.

National Sexual Freedom Day

Posted: September 23, 2010 in Bisexual, Random

I suppose to be able to talk about sexual freedom one might need to have an understanding of exactly what that means. Unfortunately, I don’t believe that any one person will ever define it the same as another.  We all add our own twists, caveats per se, that make it seem like it suits the purpose we might be using the word for.  In some cases, I believe one might put a negative spin on it – in their mind believing that sexual freedom is essentially promiscuity or sexual deviancy that is to be frowned upon.  In fact, this would be how I feel the majority of my georgraphic area probably feels about “sexual freedom.” I do live in the bible belt after all!

I prefer to define sexual freedom as an extension of freedom of expression.  If I so choose to express my interest in both men and women – so be it.  However, on a deeper level I’d like to believe that sexual freedom would also work as a shield for those that choose to be sexually free against those that are bound by their own inherent beliefs, religious philosophy and the like.

I also believe that this extends into the political realm as well.  Why can’t our nation operate in a more secular fashion – leaving the “judgement” to whatever deity they choose to believe in.  In the mean time, we are all humans – let us love who we choose to love, marry who we want to marry, be who we want to be.

Regardless of your perspective, I think National Sexual Freedom Day represents tolerance.  If we can at least learn to tolerate one another, regardless of how we identify – we can move closer to being sexually free.  Without tolerance, we will continue to fight for our sexual freedom.