Silence is NOT Golden

Posted: January 27, 2011 in Bisexual, Random, Sexual Rights / Freedom

I’m writing today on behalf of sexual freedom, on “How is sexual freedom important to the work you do as an advocate?” as an entry to the blog carnival on VenusPlusX.

First, let me just begin by saying, I had to do some serious soul-searching to even begin to identify myself as an advocate.  To me, a sexual freedom advocate looks a lot like Kendra Holliday (The Beautiful Kind).  So, before I could even begin to write about sexual freedom, I had to wrap my thoughts around advocacy.  It’s a bit disheartening to me that I’d even feel the need to Google the definition of advocacy, but I’m glad I did…  partly, because maybe; just maybe – I AM an advocate for sexual freedom.

My advocacy comes primarily in the way of anonymous contributions. My alias is where you will find blog posts, tumblr pictures, and formspring questions talking about any and all types of topics – nothing is taboo in the world of Cadence Rayne.  Sure, there are people in real life that know who is behind the online identify of Cadence Rayne, but those are people who I trust to understand why I choose to maintain that alias.  So, from behind the keyboard, I spread my thoughts and ideas about sexuality and do so as if there will be no ramifications.  But, who am I kidding?

If you stripped away my alias, you’d find nothing more than a petrified young lady, dying to have a voice! Silence is not golden! To put it simply, when the Human Rights Campaign was auto posting status updates on FaceBook about LGBT and the anti-bullying campaign, I chose to post then with no “association.”  I felt like I was being honest when I did that, because to claim my association as a “straight supporter” would have been a lie – but I wasn’t entirely honest either.  Why did I feel the need to mute myself from declaring my bisexuality?  I could name so many different reasons why I wasn’t honest – but what it boils down to is that sexual rights have a long way to go before they truly protect someone.  Hell, it took until 2010 for the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  I would give anything to be able to declare my bisexuality, the fact that I live in a 24/7 D/s relationship, the fact that we are swingers and the fact that we are working our way into polyamory – but, let’s get real – the average person, especially in my part of the country (the good ‘ol Bible belt of the South East) would see those statements as unethical and morally wrong.  So, I remain silent.  I’m not ready to risk everything I have to declare everything I am to everyone.

So, I continue to fight for sexual freedom – from the comfort of my alias.  I hope you won’t hold it against me!

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Comments
  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ShyYetNaughty, Cadence Rayne. Cadence Rayne said: Silence is NOT Golden: http://wp.me/pVefB-6y […]

  2. […] “Silence is NOT Golden” says Candence Rayne ShareA thousand thanks to Cadence Rayne for her thoughtful, soul-searching response to our inaugural blog swarm prompt : If you stripped away my alias, you’d find nothing more than a petrified young lady, dying to have a voice! Silence is not golden! To put it simply, when the Human Rights Campaign was auto posting status updates on FaceBook about LGBT and the anti-bullying campaign, I chose to post then with no “association.”  I felt like I was being honest when I did that, because to claim my association as a “straight supporter” would have been a lie – but I wasn’t entirely honest either.  Why did I feel the need to mute myself from declaring my bisexuality?  I could name so many different reasons why I wasn’t honest – but what it boils down to is that sexual rights have a long way to go before they truly protect someone.  Hell, it took until 2010 for the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  I would give anything to be able to declare my bisexuality, the fact that I live in a 24/7 D/s relationship, the fact that we are swingers and the fact that we are working our way into polyamory – but, let’s get real – the average person, especially in my part of the country (the good ‘ol Bible belt of the South East) would see those statements as unethical and morally wrong.  So, I remain silent.  I’m not ready to risk everything I have to declare everything I am to everyone . . . more. […]

  3. Miranda says:

    We live in a world that doesn’t allow people to practice life in any way except what the vast majority decides is the current fashion.
    I think the only solution to the problem is for people to allow themselves to be known for what they are.
    I’m bisexual, poly, and swing.
    Every person who does allow themselves to be out is a help to others who may someday be able to do the same.
    It will be a long time until we can all be free to let people know who we really are.

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