Contemplative

Posted: July 23, 2010 in Random

My mind has been all over the place as of late,
not in a way that has been disturbing or regretful though,
more………contemplative.

I’ve been contemplating our relationships,
and seeing those things that I didn’t necessarily want to see
either out of selfishness or even a lack of self-confidence.

A new relationship blossomed beautifully and then died a quick, and painful death.
An ongoing relationship seems to be taking its last breaths,
A rekindled relationship has ignited an internal sexual desire,
but the circumstances that blew out the flame initially  are still an aching thorn in my side,
leaving those desires to my fantasies.

I think that expectations only bring disappointment, but that lack of expectation does the same.

I think that people are generally not capable of adapting themselves to a circumstance and that is unfortunate.
For, I consider myself a bit of a chameleon – always changing and adapting, losing pieces of myself in the process
but always gaining more than I lost.  If you leave my life without a piece of me going with you, that’s your loss.

I believe that things are not always as they seem, and to believe otherwise is childlike foolishness.

I don’t believe in monogamy, why have the odds working against you straight out of the gate?
I think that people cheat, but that desire to “chase” or “be chased” can be diminished, but not extinguished.

I find that flirting and being flirted with is a lot of fun,
but more often than not, flirting is interpreted to mean more regardless of intent.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and it might take a long time to figure out why.

I believe that I’m learning more about myself each and every day, and I have a long way to go on this journey we call life.

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Comments
  1. mollyskiss says:

    Great post Cadance. It’s interesting, a few months ago I would have agreed with you about monogomy but now my views have changed. However I do think that for any relationship to survive longterm then it needs to be full of sexual exploration and that ultimatly that may well include exploring other partners, but hopefully together!

    Molly

    http://mollysdailykiss.wordpress.com/

    • Thanks Molly, I can’t say that I would never entertain the thought of monogamy again, but my bisexuality makes that nearly impossible if I’m being honest with myself and fulfilling the needs I feel need to be met.

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